It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
