I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
