drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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