what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
