I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
