Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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