i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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