We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
