on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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