3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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