I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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