Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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