But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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