on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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