Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize
