Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Less talking, more tequila
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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