She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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