you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
