i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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