I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
