Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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