its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
