remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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