I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
