She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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