i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she peed on how many people?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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