If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
