He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
