i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
