I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
