woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
