They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
