Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
