Just cropdusted the office
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
