so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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