The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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