she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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