i think my mom watched the whole time
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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