was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
