Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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