idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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