in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
