I must be too annoying 4 u.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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