I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
