i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
