just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
