Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
