i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
