I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
