a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
